"The Universe is holding its breath and waiting for you to take your place."

Several years ago, I was doing some volunteer/alumni work with my alma mater and someone who worked at the institution accidentally sent a disparaging email about me to me.  It was intended for her boss.  Well, let’s just say that I was not the Monica Moody that I am today and my only response was, “I want her fired and I want her fired now!”  I was outraged.  And because she was “clearly in the wrong”, I was also quite indignant AND shamefully sanctimonious.  

I’m noticing an interesting phenomenon brewing on both the political and social landscape these days.  I know that it’s not a new one but it seems to be hitting us in the face almost daily. 

It starts when someone does something wrong, says something wrong, takes a side to an argument that we strongly disagree with, makes an egregious (and seemingly unforgivable) mistake, etc. and the people respond by saying, “Off with their heads!”  From Hollywood to Capitol Hill and all places in between, we tend to go for the jugular and ask questions later.   

And so, in light of this being the season of love I thought I’d pause to say, “Where is it?” 

Where is the love?

Attack mode does not heal.  And the most blatant attempts towards justice mean nothing if they are not fueled by love.  The ego is cunning and even if it’s blanketed underneath righteousness, it still destroys.

I should note that I’m also struck by the level of censoring that’s taking place over inappropriate comments that various people in “high places” have been making in public forums, namely Twitter.  When we shut people down and create an atmosphere of fear, the ignorance and misunderstandings that we’re attempting to disband are simply pushed down and suppressed, only to return in even more insidious ways.

Force creates counterforce and elevates our egos not our hearts. 

Bringing a “fight mentality” towards any situation only incites the ego in others.  This is why so many of our campaigns “against” social ills are failing.  The war on drugs, the war on war . . .  the “war” on “anything” only feeds the darkness that bred it in the first place. 

And thus Einstein relays, “You cannot solve a problem from the same consciousness that created it. You must learn to see the world anew.” 

The energy behind any movement matters.  

It’s well noted that Mother Teresa once said, “I was once asked why I don’t participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I’ll be there.”  

Mother Teresa was a wise and gracious soul.

Yes, let’s be responsible and establish standards and expectations for ourselves and our society but let’s do so with a loving approach.  Because love is the only thing that really heals. 

Humiliation, forceful demands and self righteous responses leave us lowered.

Besides, the fact that someone made a mistake does not mean that they are a mistake.  And if we’re not cautious, we will miss the humanity behind the mishap.

Let’s be bold enough to generate love-infused discussions, so we can all grow from the perceived injustice.

I’ve recounted the events surrounding the situation with my alma mater many times since it happened and I oftentimes wish that I’d had the foresight, integrity and consciousness to approach this situation with love.  The first task should have been to look in the mirror to see why I was so hurt and offended in the first place.  For I now know that I was the proverbial hit dog that hollered.  And secondly, I could have sought out the “offender” to discuss the situation in a loving and open way.  If I had risen in that situation, I could have taken so many people with me.   And trust me, I had EVERYONE involved.

So, these days, I’m choosing to make every attempt to lead with love if only for the recognition that (and forgive me for this modification . . .)

“There, but for the Grace of God, go I . . . and my dumb tweet.”

Quotes:  “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” — Martin Luther King, Jr.

Have you ever had a dream that you knew – like with every cell in your being — was meant to become a reality?  Perhaps it’s a dream to start your own business, find the love of your life or visit a special and magical place.  Milan?  Rio de Janeiro?  Mount Fuji?  Or maybe it’s the dream of being physically healthy or just happy. 

I have lots of these dreams myself and I’ve discovered an essential truth about what determines how long I have to wait for my dreams to come to life.  It’s my weight.

No, not my physical weight . . . it’s more like my mental and emotional weight.

What I now know is that when I’m stuck in the past or anxious about the future, I become too doggone heavy to bring my dreams to life.  More specifically, I take my spirit away from its home in the Now and diminish its ability to create.

When I beat myself up about something that I did, I add weight.

When I fail to release hurt from a past relationship, I add weight.

When I’m worried about how a project will unfold, I add weight.

When I’m unable to forgive and/or love, I add weight.

When I’m angry or sad about something that’s missing from my life, I add weight.

AND I lengthen the amount of time I have to WAIT for my dreams to unfold.

It’s like our spirits are in limbo.  They can get to work, co-creating the dreams that are written on our hearts or they can stay stuck and weighed down by the stone walls that we’ve built around past hurts and an illusory future that’s yet to unfold. 

And the longer we keep our spirits in limbo, the longer we wait.

The most powerful way to release the weights is by learning to be present . . . here and now.  The POWER of NOW is not just a cool idea and the name of a popular book.  It’s a potent field of possibilities where we build our energetic capacity to create and connect with that which is both infinite and timeless.

When we’re in THIS moment (fully) we become keen observers to WHATEVER is before us and intoxicated by the unspeakable simplicity and beauty of life itself.  We then diminish the amount of space available for unnecessary baggage and CREATE SPACE for our dreams to unfold.

Imagine that. 

You determine “your weight” and “your wait”. 

Crazy, I know.

But true.

Micro-tip:  Drop a few pounds and bring your dreams to life.

Quote:  Having spent the better part of my life trying either to relive the past or experience the future before it arrives, I have come to believe that in between these two extremes is peace.  –Author Unknown

Share:  Volunteers of America Los Angeles (VOALA) has an ongoing project called Storywork which I love.  They profile inspiring stories from folks in their camp in expectation that their stories of overcoming will help to set others free.  Take a look at this video of one of their facilitators discussing how one participant’s decision to forgive her father for the seemingly unforgiveable helped her to live again.

When I began to get serious about my spiritual journey, I used to wonder why God was so elusive until I realized that He wasn’t the one hiding.  We are.

Actually, it’s like a game of hide and seek gone terribly wrong.  We’re all masterfully hiding in the most creative places we can find, i.e. money, jobs, food, busyness, relationships, etc. and we’re so far from home base that we can’t even hear God counting anymore.

I wonder what would happen if God decided that He was tired of playing the game and just completely stripped the entire playground (in one fell swoop) so that we were all suddenly fully exposed?

What’s that you say?

Feels like that’s what’s happening now?

Oh, okay. Never mind.

Micro-tip:  Game Over.  It’s safe to come out now.

Quote: “We’re all just walking each other home.” –Ram Das

As we continue to move forward towards new ways of being, more and more of us will feel like we’re being torn between two worlds . . . and we are.   The new ways of living that we’re being called to are completely counter to the standard “rules of engagement” and this can leave us feeling quite frayed and confused. 

We’re being compelled to step into the unknown and although we sense that there’s something quite wonderful waiting for us on this path, there’s a part of us that would rather hold tightly to the familiar trappings we’ve collectively created for ourselves. 

Are you feeling this?

Here are some of the ways that this pull is showing up in our lives.  We’re being asked to move FROM:

Obsessing about the future TOWARDS trusting in TODAY’S provisions
The egoic need for competition TOWARDS embracing a spirit of cooperation
A belief in all things rational TOWARDS a life built on faith
Our insatiable need for more and more TOWARDS accepting that WE are enough
Looking for love outside of ourselves TOWARDS the fullness of “being” love
Stagnating limiting beliefs TOWARDS accepting miracles as the order of the day

These represent humongous shifts and a huge departure from what we’re used to.  And while the transition certainly feels a bit odd and unfamiliar, there’s an intuitive part of us that recognizes this new place as home.   

Furthermore, even when we can conceptually wrap our heads around making these shifts, it becomes a totally different ballgame when we attempt to apply the newly adopted principles to our lives.  We ask, “What does this mean in the face of my job that’s depleting me, my empty bank account . . . my broken relationship?”

In our despair, we seek AND receive divine guidance but when we discuss our revelations with others, they point out how ridiculous and “irrational” our ideas and plans are — and we sink further and further into confusion.  My dear friend, J.P., characterized this phenomenon beautifully by saying, “We seek guidance in one realm and approval in the other.”  And thus, we feel torn.

I imagine that the only real way to contend with this dilemma is to be aware of the fact that these two worlds will never reconcile.  One will HAVE to yield to the other.  Once we accept this, we can more powerfully exercise our right to choose which world will win our hearts and our souls. And trust me, it’s a decision that we’ll have to make again and again and again.  

But if we continue to make the right choice (the one that takes us to higher heights) one day we will awaken to see how far we have risen and we’ll realize that we have literally created heaven on earth.

Quote:  “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant.   We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” – Albert Einstein

Share:  Every now and then, some individuals are able to glimpse a different realm and directly experience our divine essence.  I’d like to introduce you to Anita Moorjani whose near death experience allowed her to know just how magnificent we really are.

I have the most amazing friends in the world!  There’s the fabulous “Dumb Girls + One Dumb Guy” group from college. (Yes, we call ourselves this.)  There are my life-long buddies here in the ATL, NC, DC and FL.  Hey ya’ll!  And a host of others (including new friends) who are scattered both here in the U.S. and abroad.   

What amazes me is the quality and caliber of each relationship that I qualify as a “friend”.  When I examine each and every one, I can honestly say that I am increased and elevated in some way by the relationship and I hope that they can each say the same.  We’ve grown together and we grow together.  We love each other and we are brave enough to hold a mirror up when necessary so we can see ourselves and adjust.

I guess I figure, if I’m not nurtured by the relationship in some way, why bother?   True friendships enliven and allow us to graciously unfold.

What about the relationships that surround you?  Do they boost you in some way?

Just like everything else in our lives, our relationships require a periodic review.  If you know that you’re trying to get to a better place in your life and there are some around you who are making that trek more difficult than it needs to be, consider making some adjustments.

I lend you one of my favorite poems:

Not Everyone Deserves a Front Row Seat

Life is a theater – invite your audience carefully.  Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives.  There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.  It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you let go, or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not going anywhere relationships / friendships!!

Observe the relationships around you.  Pay attention….

Which ones lift and which ones lean?
Which one encourages and which ones discourage?
Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?
When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse?
Which ones always have drama or don’t really understand, know or appreciate you? 

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in The FRONT ROW and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.  You cannot change the people around you, but you can change the people you are around!   

Remember…everyone does not deserve to occupy a front row seat in your life – adjust accordingly! 

Author Unknown 

I hope you’re having a groovy week!  And cheers to our front row seaters!!! 

Monica

It’s totally beautiful when we’re in flow, but I want to know if you’ll boldly go

To that place on the other side of what we “know”

That yearns to set us free?

A few weeks ago, I referred to a phenomenon known as the “Ugly” . . .  you know, the times when life just hurts. 

I owe you an update.

So, my husband and I took a huge leap of faith and absolutely NOTHING panned out the way that we had planned.  Did it hurt?  Yes.  Were we confused?  Absolutely.  Are we on the mend?  Nope!  It’s better than that.

In the midst of this recent trial, I remember calling my sister and saying, “Okay, our talk for today is ‘Foolishness vs Faith’”.  And I fought back the tears as we talked.  I was engaged in a deeeeeeep struggle to understand why things hadn’t turned out the way that we had anticipated.  Yes, I “knew” all about detachment from a particular outcome, but that didn’t seem to matter at the time. We felt like we’d done our part but that our faith had not been rewarded.

But this is where it gets interesting.  And this is so exciting for me that I want to jump up and do a little dance (but I’ll spare us both because I don’t have a lot of rhythm). 

What I initially perceived as failure was actually the pathway to a dimension that opened me (and my husband) up in ways that absolutely astonish me. 

You see, we’ve been on the spiritual path for some time and we have both grown in phenomenal ways.   But in actuality, there were some spiritual teachings and lessons that I understood with my mind but not with my heart. 

That is, until this experience which has taken me from “believing” to “knowing”.

What I knew before, intellectually, I now know experientially.  And if you didn’t know, now you know . . . the two cannot compare.

And that creates wondrous possibilities for me, my family, you and my clients.  For indeed, what serves one, serves all.  

A greater sense of humility and compassion are two of the results of this experience, but I have to say that the greatest gift has been finding my way back to the peace and joy that are most essentially who I am.  When life strips us naked and our egos run for cover, we’re forced to boldy go to that place we’ve been avoiding all along. . . within.  And it is there that we find freedom in emerging as the glorious transparent self that was just waiting to be set free.

Harry Potter author, J.K. Rowling (who at a point experienced what she calls epic failure) summed it best in her 2008 commencement address at Harvard by saying, “Failure meant a stripping away of the inessential.  I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was . . .” There is a hidden freedom in failure that waits to soothe us and reassure us that, in our essence, we are okay. 

I found it so interesting to learn that the word “failure” is derived from the Latin word “facere” which means to “bring forth” or “produce by growth”.   What I know now is that failure is not the opposite of success but rather a very definite route to it.

Quote:  “Failure is nature’s plan to prepare you for great responsibilities” – Napoleon Hill

Share:  You can view J.K. Rowling’s entire address here.  It’s really very inspiring.

It always baffled me.  Whether it was an intense argument or a discussion about a problem that we faced, soon after I’d notice my husband peacefully humming a tune or maybe laughing at a TV show.  What in the world?  How could he move on so quickly?  Betrayal!  The nerve!  I wanted him to be miserable and wear worry the same way that I did . . .  at least for what could be deemed a respectable amount of time.

Really . . . tell me.  Is it me or is my husband insane?

Well, actually, this question is kind of loaded because I know the answer. 

It’s me. 

But you should know that I’m in recovery.

You see, much like millions of my fellow Americans I grew up believing that worrying was noble.  Yeah, we talked about things like faith and trust and the “peace that passeth understanding” but in the end, the amount of worry that we carried showed how seriously we took the situation at hand.  It showed just how much we cared.  Right?  Besides, it’s just what decent people do.

I mean, if I have “problems”, it’s just not right to maintain a sense of lightheartedness, peace and, dare I say, “happiness”.  Happiness must be sidelined until EVERYTHING is resolved.

I’m sorry.  I slipped into the sarcasm again.  But I’m done.  Really. 

But I certainly hope you get my point.

My husband’s “odd” ways proved to be a gift because they showed me just how stuck I was.

I’ve had to unlearn some of my insane ways and realign my actions and choices with what I say that I value and believe.

We don’t have to keep showing up in habitual ways. 

Fear and worry clog our minds, disconnect us from divine inspiration and make it difficult for us to find our way. Besides, it doesn’t elevate us or resolve the problem.  AND it’s just not a cute look!

Worry is an energy and because like attracts like, worry begets worry not inspired solutions.  So, let’s change the channel and be daring enough to ditch the worry and allow peace and happiness to find their way into the world as expressions of who we are. 

As a matter of fact, go on and even hum a little tune like Willis and see if you feel lighter.  It’s completely safe.  And if you find yourself being judged by others because your emotional state doesn’t seem to match the circumstances of your life, by all means, don’t “worry” . . . just sing a little louder.

Quote:  “Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success.”  — Lao Tzu 

Share:  Enjoy this quick and highly interactive experience that will help you to release your fears and worries, compliments of Cerra.  And get ready, ‘cause you’re gonna love this site!

From Richard Bach’s Illusions

“Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal  river.  The current of the river swept silently over them all – young and old, rich and poor, good and evil, the current going its own way, knowing only its own crystal self.  Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had learned from birth. 

But one creature said at last, I am tired of clinging.  Though I cannot see it with my eyes, I trust that the current knows where it is going.  I shall let go, and let it take me where it will.  Clinging, I shall die of boredom.  The other creatures laughed and said, ‘Fool!  Let go, and that current you worship will throw you tumbled and smashed across the rocks, and you will die quicker than boredom.’ 

But the one heeded them not, and taking a breath did let go, and at once was tumbled and smashed by the current across the rocks.  Yet in time, as the creature refused to cling again, the current lifted him free from the bottom and he was bruised and hurt no more. And the one carried in the current said, ‘. . . the river delights to lift us free, if only we dare let go.’”

Have you noticed that the defining word of our time seems to be “uncertainty”?  It’s staring us in the face everywhere we go and we simply don’t know what to do with it.  The thought of giving in to it makes us fearful.  We’d rather hold on as tight as we can to what we think we know so that we’ll feel like we’re still in control.

A new way of being is being ushered in and it’s as if we have the choice of fighting against it by holding on to our old ways of being or just letting go and allowing life to take us where we ultimately want and need to be.

What would life look like unscripted?  What would it feel like to be grounded in this moment by so much trust that there was no room to be concerned about what the next moment might bring?  

What if we were so free and in love with the majesty of this moment (regardless of external circumstances) that we created from this place by default instead of having to force a life with affirmations, vision boards and mind movies?

It’s time to move into an extreme state of acceptance and allowance so that that which desires to be born can find its way into our hearts and into our lives.

Surrender. Release. Allow.

Fellow clinger, will you join me?

Micro-tip:  As you commence with planning for 2012, maintain a very loose attachment to your goals and trust that the river knows better than you exactly where you need to go.

Quotes:  “Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is.  Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.” –  Eckhart Tolle

 “The reason why many are still troubled, still seeking, still making little forward progress is because they haven’t yet come to the end of themselves. We’re still trying to give orders, and interfering with God’s work within us. ” — A.W. Tozer

Share:   As you contemplate the art of surrender, enjoy this video from It’s All About Women on Life is Like Coffee.  And best wishes for an insanely incredible “now”.  Would love to hear from you!  Share your thoughts here.

I think Hollywood is missing out on a great plot.  I would absolutely love to see a top notch movie depicting parallel lives of the same person based on the choices that he/she made throughout life. But it couldn’t just be a surface level presentation; it would have to successfully capture the emotional and spiritual essence that guided his/her choices and somehow allow deep insight into the subtle qualities that shape our lives.  If we could really see and understand the impact of our choices, not just in our “doing” but also our “being”, I think it would blow our minds.

What choices did you make this morning?  

No, not over things like what to eat or what to wear.  You know . . .  the significant choices . . .  the ones that have the potential to change a life and reshape the world.  

Questions like:

Who will I choose to be today?

What will I choose to believe?

What will I choose to see in others?

Help or hindrance?  Humility or haughtiness?  Appreciation or animosity?  Release or regret?

The power of our personal choice is one of the greatest gifts we can ever know.  For each time we choose, we are making a declaration about the world that we wish to create.

Are you effectively managing your power?  If you are scratching your head right now, just rest in knowing that each moment brings with it an opportunity to choose again.  Isn’t that beautiful?  Fortunately for us, life is fluid, forgiving and full of grace.

Okay, because I love you so, I’m going to give you the best tool that you can use to guide you when you are making choices.   It will ground you right away and present you with the best guarantee that you are making a conscious and powerful choice. 

The tool is a question and it’s . . .

Am I choosing from a place of love or fear? 

It’s simple and powerful.

Can we add that to the movie too?

Quote:   “We must make the choices that enable us to fulfill the deepest capacities of our real selves.” Thomas Merton 

Share:  Please enjoy this short video with Stephen Covey, author of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, speaking on the Power of Choice.  But beware, you just might find yourself feeling ridiculously empowered.

Share:  One of the BEST “unassuming” gifts we can ever know is the joy that babies bring.  Today, I thought I’d share one of my favorite YouTube videos.  If you haven’t seen it, you’re in for a treat.  It’s a video of a baby boy laughing as his daddy rips up a rejection letter.  Check it out!