"The Universe is holding its breath and waiting for you to take your place."

From Richard Bach’s Illusions

“Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal  river.  The current of the river swept silently over them all – young and old, rich and poor, good and evil, the current going its own way, knowing only its own crystal self.  Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had learned from birth. 

But one creature said at last, I am tired of clinging.  Though I cannot see it with my eyes, I trust that the current knows where it is going.  I shall let go, and let it take me where it will.  Clinging, I shall die of boredom.  The other creatures laughed and said, ‘Fool!  Let go, and that current you worship will throw you tumbled and smashed across the rocks, and you will die quicker than boredom.’ 

But the one heeded them not, and taking a breath did let go, and at once was tumbled and smashed by the current across the rocks.  Yet in time, as the creature refused to cling again, the current lifted him free from the bottom and he was bruised and hurt no more. And the one carried in the current said, ‘. . . the river delights to lift us free, if only we dare let go.’”

Have you noticed that the defining word of our time seems to be “uncertainty”?  It’s staring us in the face everywhere we go and we simply don’t know what to do with it.  The thought of giving in to it makes us fearful.  We’d rather hold on as tight as we can to what we think we know so that we’ll feel like we’re still in control.

A new way of being is being ushered in and it’s as if we have the choice of fighting against it by holding on to our old ways of being or just letting go and allowing life to take us where we ultimately want and need to be.

What would life look like unscripted?  What would it feel like to be grounded in this moment by so much trust that there was no room to be concerned about what the next moment might bring?  

What if we were so free and in love with the majesty of this moment (regardless of external circumstances) that we created from this place by default instead of having to force a life with affirmations, vision boards and mind movies?

It’s time to move into an extreme state of acceptance and allowance so that that which desires to be born can find its way into our hearts and into our lives.

Surrender. Release. Allow.

Fellow clinger, will you join me?

Micro-tip:  As you commence with planning for 2012, maintain a very loose attachment to your goals and trust that the river knows better than you exactly where you need to go.

Quotes:  “Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is.  Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.” –  Eckhart Tolle

 “The reason why many are still troubled, still seeking, still making little forward progress is because they haven’t yet come to the end of themselves. We’re still trying to give orders, and interfering with God’s work within us. ” — A.W. Tozer

Share:   As you contemplate the art of surrender, enjoy this video from It’s All About Women on Life is Like Coffee.  And best wishes for an insanely incredible “now”.  Would love to hear from you!  Share your thoughts here.

I think Hollywood is missing out on a great plot.  I would absolutely love to see a top notch movie depicting parallel lives of the same person based on the choices that he/she made throughout life. But it couldn’t just be a surface level presentation; it would have to successfully capture the emotional and spiritual essence that guided his/her choices and somehow allow deep insight into the subtle qualities that shape our lives.  If we could really see and understand the impact of our choices, not just in our “doing” but also our “being”, I think it would blow our minds.

What choices did you make this morning?  

No, not over things like what to eat or what to wear.  You know . . .  the significant choices . . .  the ones that have the potential to change a life and reshape the world.  

Questions like:

Who will I choose to be today?

What will I choose to believe?

What will I choose to see in others?

Help or hindrance?  Humility or haughtiness?  Appreciation or animosity?  Release or regret?

The power of our personal choice is one of the greatest gifts we can ever know.  For each time we choose, we are making a declaration about the world that we wish to create.

Are you effectively managing your power?  If you are scratching your head right now, just rest in knowing that each moment brings with it an opportunity to choose again.  Isn’t that beautiful?  Fortunately for us, life is fluid, forgiving and full of grace.

Okay, because I love you so, I’m going to give you the best tool that you can use to guide you when you are making choices.   It will ground you right away and present you with the best guarantee that you are making a conscious and powerful choice. 

The tool is a question and it’s . . .

Am I choosing from a place of love or fear? 

It’s simple and powerful.

Can we add that to the movie too?

Quote:   “We must make the choices that enable us to fulfill the deepest capacities of our real selves.” Thomas Merton 

Share:  Please enjoy this short video with Stephen Covey, author of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, speaking on the Power of Choice.  But beware, you just might find yourself feeling ridiculously empowered.

Share:  One of the BEST “unassuming” gifts we can ever know is the joy that babies bring.  Today, I thought I’d share one of my favorite YouTube videos.  If you haven’t seen it, you’re in for a treat.  It’s a video of a baby boy laughing as his daddy rips up a rejection letter.  Check it out!

In The School for Gods by Stefano Elio D’Anna, the all knowing figure characterized as the Dreamer says, “When you answer the telephone, you shouldn’t say: ‘Hello, who is it?’ but ‘Hello, who am I?’” The reason?  The Dreamer boldly exclaims, “The others are you!”

It’s a really fascinating read as the Dreamer further explains that “the world telephones to tell you who you are . . . “.

Because life is constantly mirroring back to us what we project, every person and situation we encounter is a gift; there to show us who we are at that moment.

When we connect with and feel the love, beauty and peace that’s within us, we see that in others.   Conversely, if we are filled with anger, resentment, judgment, guilt, etc., then that’s what we will see.  As radio personality Lorraine Jacques White says so succinctly, “The you in me is the you I see.”

The person who’s annoying you to no end, the situation that has you up in arms at work, the son/daughter who seems to do everything wrong . . . it’s all showing you, you. 

I received a traffic ticket several weeks ago and although guilty, it was an innocent mistake due to unclear signs at an area that was under construction.  When the cop pulled me over, he was so angry that he could barely get his words out.  As the ordeal went on, he continued to be very rude and demeaning. 

I knew in an instant that his anger had nothing to do with me or the situation.  The situation was the gift (the mirror) presented to give him a glimpse of what was stirring inside of him . . . but I’m not so sure that he saw it that way.

Oh, and lest I make myself appear as the hero in the story, please know that I got to meet myself that day too.  I remained calm but there was definitely some “stuff” brewing on the inside.

So, next time your “phone rings”, pull up a chair and get to know yourself.   It’s past time to get acquainted.

Quote:  “And remember, no matter where you go, there you are.” – Confuscious

Share:  So what comes out of you when you get squeezed?  Take a look at this quick video clip from Dr. Wayne Dyer  to learn more.

P.S.  Once we see who’s calling, the great work of transformation can truly begin.

In one of Marianne Williamson’s lectures, she talks about a photo in a newspaper of a young girl who was clinging to her abusive mother as the police reached for her to take her away.  Although her mom had caused her tremendous pain, she clung to her because her mom is what she knew.

How often do we hold on to painful things in our lives simply because they are “familiar”?  The story, the relationship, the job, the anger, the resentment, the stinking thinking? 

Is it time to let it go? 

I found this passage by Carly Fiorina to be quite interesting:

“In bullfighting there is a term called querencia. The querencia is the spot in the ring to which the bull returns. Each bull has a different querencia, but as the bullfight continues, and the animal becomes more threatened, it returns more and more often to his spot.

As he returns to his querencia, he becomes more predictable. And so, in the end, the matador is able to kill the bull because instead of trying something new, the bull returns to what is familiar.  His comfort zone.” 

Now it’s important to note that “querencia” loosely translates as “a place where one feels secure”.  Indeed, the bull returns to this familiar spot in actuality to renew his strength and to center himself.     But we know that the sense of security that we get from “a thing” can sometimes be a false one.

So, how do we move forward?

If your “querencia” brings you safety, comfort, strength and renewal, then it’s a definite keeper.  If, however, you are repeatedly diminished by it or it could eventually lead to your demise, it’s time to let it go.

Share:  Ready to release? Enjoy this post from Lori Deschene’s Tiny Buddha on “40 Ways to Let Go and Feel Less Pain”.

It’s good stuff!

I’m surrounded by books that I love.  Each of them holds nuggets of wisdom that have shaped and guided me along my path.  The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, Radical Forgiveness by Colin Tipping, Illusions by Richard Bach, Treasured Writings of Khalil Gibran, Love Poems from God by Daniel Ladinksky and on and on, they’ve all held fiery words that have captured me and dove into my heart .

These books have helped me to realize that there are fundamental truths that are always seeking to recapture our attention.  They shout out to us in myriad ways, whether it’s through another person, a book  J, a chance encounter or through nature and they resonate with our deepest parts.    And just like the newborn baby who instinctively knows his mother’s voice, there is a part of us that becomes fully alert when we hear them.

Our job is to take these precious jewels and bring them into our daily awareness.  As we become more conscious of them and apply them to our lives, we become more fully integrated and alive.   And lest you be concerned, please know that they tend to carry an honest simplicity as they are straightforward messages that tap at the doors of our hearts and lead us to a greater understanding of ourselves.

I’ve begun to document these elements of truth and I’d like to begin to share them with you.  As you read them, see if there is some part of you that resonates with what’s been said.  And if there is, please make an attempt to incorporate it into your life in a more conscious way.   

They will unfold as quotes, mini-stories, observations, etc.  The series is called “Pieces of Me” with the hope that as we move forward, these fragmented bits of truth will begin to join forces within us to make us whole.

Below is the first installment in the series.

Sometimes We Have to Get Lost To Find Our Way

A while back, I took a road trip with the women in my family to Savannah.  We stayed in a hotel that sat on the harbor across from the famous Riverwalk district.    On our first night there, we had gone out and were attempting to find our way back to the hotel.  We drove for about an hour only to end up right back where we started.  At this point, we stopped at a gas station for directions and to our bemusement, the guy said, “Oh, just turn right out of here and that street will take you straight to the bridge and back to the hotel.”  It took 5 minutes.  

After that, we found that our experience of getting lost helped us to navigate the city much better.  And as I soaked in this lovely metaphor for life, I concluded that we are usually much closer to our destination than we think.

Micro-tip:  Don’t begrudge the times when you feel completely lost.  Know that these moments are always purposeful and that your internal GPS is always guiding you to where you need to be.

Quote:  “It is good to feel lost… because it proves you have a navigational sense of where “Home” is.  You know that a place that feels like being found exists.  And maybe your current location isn’t that place but, Hallelujah, that unsettled, uneasy feeling of lost-ness just brought you closer to it.”  ~ Erika Harris

Share:  I’d like to share an article by  Douglas LaBier about the spiritual similarities between Steve Jobs and George Harrison.  It’s a great illustration of the power we have to consciously choose our paths and determine what we want our lives to represent.

I have a great friend and old colleague who used to say, “I can’t even enjoy my d@#% weekend for thinking about going to work on Monday!” What a sentiment, right? If we’re being honest, most of us have, no doubt, been in this less than appealing place before. Let’s face it, as a society, we are trained to believe that this is the norm. After all, it is “work”, right? We’re supposed to hate it!

Okay, so just hold your horses there, this is not the revolution that you thought it was. There will be no “Hate Your Job and Feel Good About it” groups started here today. I am actually here to stand as a messenger to let you know that it is indeed quite possible for you to learn to love the job that you hate. Want to know how? Lend me your ear.

But first, if you’re looking for the latest and greatest tool or technique “out there” to transform your feelings towards your job then this is not for you. You know the types I speak of. . . “Ask for a promotion”, “Be more productive”, “Delegate more”, “Get a new job”, etc. While these techniques certainly have their place, I am much more concerned about having you focus on the inner work that needs to be done so that once you commence with the outer work, your actions will emanate from a place of true power. 

So here we go, here are 5 Ways to Learn to Love the Job You Hate:

#1. Do everything that you can to bring a sense of acceptance to your being in the job that you have. What you resist persists, so by bringing the energy of acceptance you send a signal that you’re ready to transcend the situation, learn what you need to and grow. Even with this single step alone, you will begin to experience a shift and make room for new and wonderful events to unfold. Besides, how does all that resistance and negativity feel anyway? Peace = Power. If you can move from “this sucks” to “okay, this is what is”, you’ll feel better, create a space for more positive energy to flow into the situation and lower your blood pressure all in one!

#2. Find the inherent gifts in the experience and be open to what life is saying to you. Every seemingly negative experience presents itself as a way to capture our attention and get us to tune in to areas of our lives where we need to grow and/or heal. Do you need to be more confident? Do you need to learn to foster more positive relationships — even with those who appear to be adversaries? Do you simply need to learn how to be present and engaged? Okay, so I think you get the idea here. See each experience as a gift and a mirror of sorts, reflecting back to you some aspect of yourself that needs (and wants) to grow.

During a particularly painful time of my life (physically and emotionally), I recruited the help of a very intuitive massage therapist to help me heal severe lower back pain. While it was not on my radar and not the type of advice I thought I’d hired her for, she suggested that I grab my journal and write about all of the positive things that had come from being stuck in bed for several weeks with grueling and relentless pain. The exact question was, how had the situation served me?

Mostly out of desperation (and respect for my therapist), I decided to give it a try. The results blew me away! When I stopped, I realized that I had 7 pages detailing the good that had come from dealing with this major back problem. Now granted, my journal pages are only about 8 X 4 inches but still, that’s a lot of good. Here’s a sample of what I wrote:

It’s made me be still and focus only on myself and my family.

It’s pulled me away from TV because it hurts to be anywhere but in bed.

It’s made me more compassionate.

It’s allowed me or rather forced me to depend on others and ask for help.

It’s made me appreciate things we take for granted like a decent night’s sleep or being able to perform very simple tasks without pain.

It’s caused some of the walls that I thought were solidly around me to come down. I see “me” more clearly and so do others around me.

And on and on the list went. What was equally amazing was the ease with which each entry flowed from my hand. It was as if some part of me was waiting for this moment with great anticipation. 

#3. Learn to value and appreciate what each person around you has to offer. So often (if not always) we get exactly what we’re looking for and what we expect. If you’ve spiraled down to that murky water place where you only see the horns on your boss’ head and not the flickering flame in their heart that’s trying it’s best to ignite, then let’s hang out here for a minute.

Even the most obnoxious co-worker has some positive quality somewhere don’t you think? You may be reduced to noting the fact that. . . “Oh look, their arms sway back and forth just as they should when they walk”, but hey — it’s a start! You’ve heard it before, energy flows where your attention goes. If you focus on all of the many shortcomings that you’ve identified in your colleagues, then you cut yourself off from other possibilities. Possibilities that you will probably find much more rewarding. Furthermore, you get what you give. If you can somehow learn to value and appreciate those around you, you are sure to find that it will be reciprocated.

#4. Speaking of getting what you give. . . the next tip is to find opportunities to give what you feel you’re not getting on the job. Feel that you lack respect? Go out of your way to give it (genuinely) to others. Not getting the recognition that you feel you deserve? Recognize others for their efforts. Feel that you are constantly getting the worst assignments and projects known to man? Stop passing painful work to your subordinates. Get the point? And yes, I am going to say it. . . Be the change. It’s powerful, it’s contagious and it works.

#5. Know and trust that you deserve to work in a peaceful environment that allows you to contribute in significant and amazing ways. Sometimes, we can convince ourselves of something on a conscious level but in the meantime, our subconscious is saying, “No dice!” What we experience in the outerworld is the single best evidence that we have of what we are experiencing within.

If you want to experience peace and value in your place of employment, own it! Talk to yourself constantly as you affirm what it is that you wish to experience in your professional life.

Go beyond that, if necessary. . . write out your vision and post it somewhere where you’ll see it daily, practice affirmations, use creative visualization and see yourself experiencing your ideal work environment (this is a great tool to try each night before you go to bed). 

In short, do the work. Move your thoughts about what you want from your head to your heart and then sit back and watch your situation transform.

You deserve so much more than a life where you spend a third of your day in a job that you hate. And let’s face it, if you hate your job, we know that it’s flowing over into the other two thirds as well.

Start with these 5 steps and see where they take you. I give you my personal guarantee that this path will lead you to better shores. Now, go change your life and, by default, change the world!

Many of you know that my husband and I recently took massive leaps into the unknown by leaving our jobs and responding to a deeper call that was clearly pulling at our hearts. 

My husband left his position as an educational administrator because his daily responsibilities, particularly in his capacity as chief disciplinarian, conflicted with his values and beliefs in a way that could no longer be ignored.

And I left my position in career development at a women’s college, not because I didn’t enjoy it, but because I could no longer, in good faith, encourage my students to follow their hearts without being true to the call that had been placed upon my own.

When we first made the decision, I was filled with an energy and excitement that I hadn’t really experienced before.  There is a certain type of exhilaration that comes from diving into a sea of possibility with childlike faith and enthusiasm.  

We’ve had a glorious summer and the first few months of completely devoting ourselves to building the foundation for what we deem as our life’s work has been quite rewarding.

Now, we’re at that proverbial place where the “rubber meets the road” and the reality of our decision has begun to set in as we face various responsibilities.  And I will be the first to admit that there have been moments when I have completely questioned our decision.

However, throughout the emotional ups and downs, I have decided to trust that each step that I need to take will be revealed in the moment in which I need to take it.  

I have decided to not only become comfortable with uncertainty but to truly embrace it.  For the reality is we have never known what’s around the bend even if our intense planning leads us to believe that we do.  

So, although this journey into the unknown has definitely left me feeling squeamish at times, I’m willing to befriend the discomfort if it leads me closer to fulfilling my highest potential.

What I know for sure is that nothing will ever change if we choose to cling to that which is familiar simply because it brings with it a certain amount of comfort.  

I’ve heard that Ram Dass (a contemporary spiritual teacher) talks about a photo that he once saw of a young girl clinging to her abusive mother when the police came to take her away.  He explains that although her mother had caused tremendous pain in her life, the child clung to her because that is what she knew.

How often do we find ourselves in similar situations?  Situations where we know that our hearts are calling us to something greater but we fail to respond because we don’t want to step outside of our “comfort zone” . . . even if that comfort zone only brings a familiar pain.

If we want to advance our lives and truly make a difference in this world, we have to be willing to step into the unknown.  Nothing great has been accomplished without doing so.  By definition, this is what “a leap of faith” is all about.  It’s about trusting that the signposts are there for a reason and that we are being called towards something greater.

And lest we allow fear to prevent us from moving forward, it may be helpful to know the characteristics of a call of faith:

 1.  A call of faith is always a call to step into the unknown.  When we attempt to wrap reason around it, the mind will stop us dead in our tracks.  The conscious mind wants to know what’s ahead and the subconscious mind simply wants to keep us safe.  If we lead with our minds we may never move in the direction that our hearts and spirits want to take us.

2.  A call of faith is always towards a deeper level of service and responsibility to ourselves and others.  The purpose of the call in and of itself is to grow our greatness so that we can all move a little closer to realizing the magnitude of who we really are.

 3.  A call of faith will oftentimes require an immediate and radical shift in how we live our lives with regard to our worldview or in our literal way of living.  It’s about making a conscious choice to see, do or be something different.

Is there something that you’re being called to in your own life?

Apparently, when asked what a normal person should be able to do well, Sigmund Freud responded, “Lieben und arbeiten” which means “to love and to work”.  I absolutely love that.   After spending lots of time pondering the idea of “Purpose”, I concluded that we all have a Universal Purpose which is “to grow and to serve”.  And I believe that this view of purpose is very much congruent with what Freud espoused.

There is no greater goal than to awaken to the magnificent force of love that yearns to be expressed through us in service to others.   It’s simple and it’s remarkably powerful.

So often, we struggle through life in search of our purpose and what we fail to realize is that it’s not an entity to be tracked down and pursued.  When we choose work that allows us to use our gifts and talents in service to others and we infuse it with the power of love, our purpose then rushes in to meet us.

The Lebonese Poet, Khalil Gibran says,

“But I say to you that when you work you fulfill a part of earth’s furthest dream, assigned to you when that dream was born, and in keeping yourself with labour you are in truth loving life.  And to love life through labour is to be intimate with life’s inmost secret.”

Here are three steps that will move you closer to connecting with your purpose:

1. Be willing to release the idea that your purpose is elusive and difficult to discover.  Anxiety about anything is a form of resistance in that it represents a refusal to accept what is.  When you are in a state of resistance, that energy can actually keep the things we wish to attract at bay.

2. Focus on your own personal growth and open to the awareness of love.  What does this mean in practical speak?   When we move forward in life, we make our decisions from a place of love or fear.  Take time to observe your own life and see what’s running the show.  If fear is the feature, then find a spiritual practice that will lead you to greater possibilities.  And by all means, start off with simple yet powerful tools.  Practice mindfulness, gratitude and stillness.  Find spiritual texts that will truly nurture your soul.   You can find some great resources at http://www.ignitepurposenow.com/resources/.

3. Serve.  Wherever you are and whatever your circumstance, make a conscious choice to use your gifts and talents to serve those around you with a profound sense of love.  When we learn to give of ourselves and adopt a heart-centered approach to serving others, our purpose will be there in the midst.  Need a resource to help you find your heart again?  Check out Marci Schimoff’s new book, Love for No Reason or check out the tools and resources available through Heartmath at www.heartmath.com. 

You and your purpose are one.  So get to growing and discovering the real you and your purpose will be waiting there to meet you with open arms.